Waymaker is an artwork that has developed over the last Month or so inbetween other works that have developed in the studio. As the church announced their next series on prayer, I realised why this image has taken some time to work on. It’s larger scale having something to do with it, but also more about my relationship with God. Yep I know I need to talk with him better.
Prayer is about going to a place that is first about God and our relationship with him. It is a private place where our conversation over performance is how Jesus taught his disciples to pray in Matthew 6. It’s about a time of solitude, removing distractions so we can come to the conversation in openness. It’s a time of realness and rawness. A place of vulnerability. You see God wants to hear your heart, not the rantings from a list that has little to do with God and is more about you.
For a long time my prayer has been for others as I’ve felt my life had been one only worthy of holding the door open for others. I get to watch and cheer people on as they achieve and grow as I grieve and miss out. Not the healthiest way to do life huh. The older I get the harder it can be to change from the known, but the heartbreak of staying in this place has been driving change. Thankful.
Waymaker is my reminder that prayer, our open dialogue to God needs to be personal. It needs to be how I would talk to another person, but with one major exception. I don’t have to worry about what I have to say or how I am saying it. I just need to talk and share my life with God….long before my shopping list.
I grew up without a dad. He was around sometimes, but all the things that dads should do, well there are few good memories of him, few empty experiences and one memory that was only spoken outloud almost two years ago that added more brokenness to an already fatherless upbringing.
To know a father that loves me is the desire of my heart. It’s one of the deepest wounds I have this side of heaven. But God fills this space with hope. He is the waymaker. He is the love of my life, He is my provider, He is my strength at the start of each exhausting day. He wipes away all my tears, carries all my burdens, and brings a peace that surpasses all understanding. It is only through close relationship that I can have all this.
It’s all this I struggle to have when my eyes are on my circumstances and not on the one that knows my name and has it tattooed to his palm.
Waymaker uses the imagery that is the beginning of a series of works that focus on the battles that are fought for us, the battle of the principalities whose task is to fight for us in this broken world. We are protected from far worse things than we see and have known. Sometimes what we already experience is hard enough to live with, and it’s all the more reason to be in communion with God, with all our stuff that he already knows, but wants to hear it from us. And from here love us in our stuff and provides the strength to navigate each day as he draws us closer to healing.
I get that sometimes healing doesn’t come this side of heaven, but it doesn’t change my prayer that God’s will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. And heaven is healed, so I choose to believe that healing is and will happen for me.
So what does your prayer life look like? What prevents it from being more personal? What do you think God can’t love you through? Let Him minister to you as he brings healing to you from all you try to hid from him?
This is the birthplace of authentic relationship.
This is the birthplace of vulnerability.
This is the birthplace of transformation.
This is the birthplace of authentic prayer.