Our hearts are so fragile. There are so many things that cause our hearts to recoil away from being hurt again, but it’s also the recoiling, building walls around them, caging them up to protect them that can disconnect us from learning how the heart can heal, learn resilience, be restored and open up to past and new areas of connection. The different ways to love and love in its entirety, even through pain.
Learning how to understand love is a life long journey. Hurts come in many forms both real and those we perceive. That which we do to ourselves and that which is out of our control, but both can be devastating to our hearts.
My heart had been protected for so long that to let others in can still be challenging. Sometimes distressing, brutally painful, crippling and exhausting to the point of physically effecting my health. I think sometimes this is what it can feel like to lean into God when how we see God is distorted.
Or maybe we need to get to the crippling, exhaustive state so we can no longer maintain our walls. We can no longer recoil away, we can no longer hold the cage doors closed and we learn to be carried by God. I have asked myself why I needed to get to a debilitating place in order to be open enough to see God’s true love towards me. His warmth, his overwhelming love and desire for connection with me.
“Setting the caged heart free” is allowing the door to be opened and freeing the heart. The exhaustion I felt in the past while holding on to all that I knew and the control I thought I had, has had its time. And that time is past. The journey ahead is unknown, the journey ahead may be slow, but I’ve seen the value in being still and desiring to know God more deeply. The more I desire to walk closely, the more closely I walk, the more I am reminded of how much I can’t do without Him.