The way we see our heart and the way we think God sees our heart can be so different yet so alike.
‘yesterday today tomorrow’ are a group of illustrations exploring my understanding of Gods heart. They were completed over 3 days which is why I called them ‘yesterday today tomorrow’.
Life is tough. I’m not going to say it isn’t. But it is tougher for some than others. The burdens we carry can develop a weight in our hearts that can consume us over time when left unchecked, when our focus is on them and not on the promises of God.
I’m not good enough to love, my hearts too broken. I’m not pretty enough. (Ok Kasey Chambers was not supposed to feature today). None the less, the hurts we experience, the things that don’t measure up to our dreams, desires and expectations can weigh us all down significantly. And then we come into contact with God who says he is loving, but our hearts are so burdened and heavy we ask questions like; does he really love me when nothing I’ve dreamed of or prayed for has happened? How can he love me if I can’t love Him the way I should through my pain?
For a larger part of the last 16 years, more than I’d like to admit to, I have grappled with the unfailing love of God missing far too many of my prayers, my laments, my singleness, my loneliness, loss and not answering these the way HE SHOULD be answering them. In recent years, however, regardless of my begrudging attitude, my sporadic or lack of leaning into God and my way too many harsh words said through pain, God is the closest now than I have even known Him to be. He hasn’t changed. My understanding of my limited capacity to understand Him has. Some of my prayers are on the wait list, some of them will never be answered the way I may like them to be answered, but they are still prayed for. What’s different now though, the answers are no longer the focus. The relationship with God is.
‘yesterday today tomorrow’ focuses on the burden we think our heart is on others, because of how painful it is for us to carry. And how this burden is too heavy for God, He’s not listening anyway. I’ve come to realise that God isn’t burdened by my weighted heart or my weighted prayers and He has no need for superhuman strength to carry them or me. He has supernatural strength. Regardless of how Cliché that sounds, that’s been my experience. His touch is gentle and delicate, just as His whispers are gently calling to us in His desire for us to know His heart towards us and to know it deeply. He is so gentle with us. What feels like His harshness when we finally listen to His voice is really the consequences of our delaying to follow his direction way back when he was first instructing us often days, weeks, months or years before. You are precious. You are loved. You are His joy. He wants the best for you and that best is Him, first.
Jesus is the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow. Hebrews 13:8